You're Missing Your Own Life
Stop Being a Mental Time Traveler Before It Ruins Everything
Ever catch yourself scrolling through your phone during dinner, thinking about tomorrow's meeting while your kid's telling you about their day? We're physically here but mentally everywhere else.
One of the big issues we face in everyday life, whether it's personal or professional, is dealing with those down moments, anxiety, or negative thoughts. So much of our time is spent dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. We're not focusing on the present. We're always thinking about what we screwed up yesterday or looking forward to the weekend, dreading Monday.
What we're not doing is living in the present.
What the Stoics Knew That We Forgot
The Stoics emphasized being fully present and in the moment, not focusing on the past or future but enjoying and embracing the now. We need to put more focus on being present and paying attention to what's happening now.
Like when you're "listening" to your loved one talk about their day but you're actually mentally writing your grocery list. Or when you're at your kid's soccer game but spending the whole time checking work emails. Whether we're working, relaxing, spending time with family or kids, whatever it is, being in the moment is critical to our sanity, health, awareness, and preparation.
It's about taking things as they come without judging our emotions too harshly. Our minds will wander to past events and future possibilities—that's natural. The key is not dwelling on those thoughts but re-centering ourselves back to the present.
The Waiting Game We're All Playing
We spend so much of our lives waiting for things to happen, anticipating or dreading future events. But there's today—this moment that we won't get again.
Once it passes, that's it.
We need to look at what's happening now and take it for what it is. If you're in a bad situation, work to get out of it. If you're in a good situation, enjoy it while it lasts because both good and bad moments will eventually end.
Why This Actually Matters
For overall mental health, understanding stoicism can be crucial. It helps us monitor and direct our thoughts and find balance. When you start practicing this these things, you'll notice better relationships because you're actually present when people are talking to you. Less stress because you're not constantly time-traveling in your head. More enjoyment of good moments because you're not missing them while thinking about something else.
Mindfulness is an essential part of this practice that isn't talked about enough but needs daily attention. It's something we can do right now—not just part of a morning routine or evening reflection—but in this very moment.
Start Right Now
Right now, as you're reading this, take a breath. Feel your feet on the ground. Notice the sounds around you. That's it—you're already doing mindfulness. No apps, no special cushions, just you being here.
Look, I get it. This stuff sounds simple on paper, but when your brain is doing its usual circus act of jumping from worry to worry, it feels anything but easy. The good news? You don't need to be perfect at this. You just need to start.
Next time you catch yourself mentally rehearsing an argument that might never happen or beating yourself up over something from last week, just pause. Come back to whatever you're doing in that moment.
If you're washing dishes, feel the warm water. If you're walking, notice your steps. If you're talking to someone, actually listen to their words instead of planning your response.
The moment you realize you've been living in your head is the moment you can choose to come back to life. And trust me, life's happening right now—don't miss it because you're too busy thinking about it.
Quote of the Day:
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future" - Seneca
👉 If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends!
Or feel free to click the ❤️ button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack 🙏
You can find me on X and LinkedIn.
This resonates with me deeply. I've been struggling for a long time not to get carried away by past arguments or future worries. It's hard, really hard. We live in a society designed to instill fear in us. Even a simple ad can trick your brain into thinking you're missing out. But I've learned that giving "names" to these feelings or thoughts is a powerful way to bring them to the front and not fall victim to them.
The present won't be here again.