Control What Actually Matters
Master Your Reactions, Not Your Circumstance
We've all had those moments where life feels like it's giving us the middle finger. Your alarm doesn't go off, you spill coffee on your favorite shirt, and your car decides today's the perfect day to make that weird noise. It's enough to make anyone want to crawl back into bed and call it quits.
But here's the thing about control - it's not just about the shit that happens to us. It's about how we deal with it. And I'm not talking about some fancy philosophical concept (even though, yeah, that's kind of what this is).
I'm talking about real, everyday stuff that actually makes a difference.
The Three Parts of Control
1. Perspective: Keeping It Real
When something goes sideways, our first reaction is usually to freak out or get pissed off. But what if we took a step back and just looked at what actually happened?
No drama, no story—just the facts.
Like when your friend leaves you on read for three days. Instead of going down the rabbit hole of "they hate me" or "I must have said something wrong," you could just look at it for what it is: they haven't responded yet. That's it. That's the fact. Everything else? That's just the stories we tell ourselves.
2. Action: What Can You Actually Do About It?
Once you've got that clear view of what's actually going down, it's time to figure out what you can actually do about it.
And I mean really do about it—not just wish you could do about it.
Take that work project that's stressing you out. Instead of freaking out about everything that could go wrong, break it down:
What parts can you control? (Your effort, your time management, your communication)
What parts are out of your hands? (Other people's responses, technical issues, last-minute changes)
Focus on what's in your lane and let the rest do its thing.
3. Rolling With It: The Art of Not Fighting Reality
This is probably the hardest part, but it's also where the magic happens. It's about accepting that sometimes, things just are what they are. Not in a giving-up way, but in a "okay, this is what I'm working with" way.
Remember that date that ghosted you? Instead of spending weeks analyzing every text you sent, you could just accept that it wasn't meant to be and keep it moving.
Yeah, it sucks, but fighting reality just keeps you stuck.
Finding Your Balance
Here's what nobody tells you about keeping your cool: it's not about being some emotionless robot. That's not the point at all.
The point is finding that sweet spot between caring enough to take action and being chill enough to not let things wreck you.
It's like having an emotional thermostat - when things get too hot, you cool it down; when things get too cold, you warm it up. You still feel everything, you just don't let it run the show.
Making This Work in Real Life
The real test isn't understanding all this - it's using it when shit hits the fan. It's remembering to take that breath and think "okay, what can I actually do here?" when your presentation crashes or your partner's being a pain in the ass.
And guess what? You're not going to be perfect at it. Nobody is. The point isn't to nail it every time—it's to get a little better at handling whatever life throws your way.
Because at the end of the day, the only thing you really have control over is how you show up. Everything else? That's just part of the ride.
Quote of the Day:
"Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions." - Epictetus
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